Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009)

Directed by Mark Waters
Starring Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Gardner, Micheal Douglas, Anne Archer, Breckin Meyer, and Emma Stone

I’m not scared to admit that I actually like Matthew McConaughey movies. I always have. There is something slightly ridiculous about him that literally has me almost bursting into laughter even when he is trying to be serious, but he’s not really a comedian, and he’s not really a serious actor. Sure, he’s taken a few serious turns but I always found humor in them. For example, I actually LOL’d (that stands for “laugh out loud”) in the theater when I saw U-571. Specifically, in the scene (which is supposed to be serious) where he looks at one of the seamen with wild, crazy eyes and says, “Do…your… job…sailor!”. Now, I know it was supposed to be a serious turning point in the movie, one in which the characters understood the seriousness of being in the United States Navy, but it was hilarious.

What is the point of all this ranting and raving about Mr. McConaughey? Well, my point is, I wanted to like “Ghost of Girlfriends Past”. I knew what to expect, and it wasn’t much. I expected to see Mr. Matthew running around saying silly lines and trying to look sexy, etc. And, he does. With that being said, the movie was horrible. This is for two reasons....

First (SPOILER), I knew what was going to happen because it follows the outline of Dicken’s A Christmas Carol. But, Josh, you say, It’s a chick flick, almost every chick flick is predictable, they always get together in the end. Yes, that’s true. I know its predictable I know it’s always going to have a happy ending; I know the couple that can’t get together throughout the entire movie will finely proclaim their undying love for one another and walk off into the sunset. But, what I want, in a good chick flick, are surprises along the way, I don’t want to know how it [the couple getting together is going to happen. And, in GOGP, I knew he was going to visited by 3 ghosts and have a change of heart. But, then again, I already knew this because the title was called “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” which brings me to the second problem of the film...

None, of the secondary characters or jokes were not very entertaining or even believable. Although, Brekin Meyer isn’t bad as the little brother, and either is, Michael Douglas as the womanizing, advice giving uncle. I will also give a shout out to my girl Emma Stone of Superbad, and Zombieland, who is almost unrecognizable as the Mr. McConaughey’s first teenage girlfriend Alison Vandermeersh.

I’m not sure why Jennifer Gardner is even in this. Her role sucks. Maybe everyone just wanted to get paid. Can’t say I really blame them but why can’t Hollywood make a chick flick that is actually decent. All it takes is giving these moving a little more thought before cranking them out.

The beer that I sipped appropriately throughout the film was a German beer which I believe was self-touted as the official beer of Oktoberfest…Straight outta Oktoberfest like N.W.A is straight outta Compton…more like straight outta Key West. The beer was straight though. Kinda pale, yet refined. It was called Spaten.

Don’t watch this movie. Skip it. Seacrest out.

FORCE THE BOYFRIEND: 1 out of 10 (1 means he'll hate it, 10 means he'll like it)

Watch if you liked....don't watch it.

Chick Flick: 0 cartons of ice cream (out of 5)
DVD: 0 pieces of milky chocolate (out of 5)
Beer: 3 manly high fives (out of 5)