The Notebook (2004)

Directed by Nick Cassavetes
Starring Ryan Gosling, Rachel McAdams, James Gardner and Gena Rowlands

by Joshua Simpkins

Ok, so I have been getting a lot of requests for me to write a review on “The Notebook”. The only problem is I’ve already seen “The Notebook” multiple times. For me to write a real review on “The Notebook” it would break every rule I’ve ever made in reviewing these movies aka “chick flicks”. Does “The Notebook” deserve enough for me to break my own rules? Let me go over them again;

1. I must have never seen the chick flick before.
2. I must watch the chick flick alone. (That means no girlfriends, friendgirls, girlfriends of friends, friendgirls of girlfriends, girlfriends of girlfriends, friendgirls of friends, Moms, Aunts, sisters, cousins, or any of their girlfriends, lesbians, Grandmas, or hot girl neighbors who seem to mysterious live near you but you can figure out where they live or if they have a boyfriend or even better, a girlfriend.)
3. I must drink a beer while watching the chick flick.

Those are my rules. And, they are finite. But, rules are made to be broken. Especially, my rules. I am, after all, the Ultimate Bad Boy Rebel (in Polo shorts).

The first time I caught “The Notebook” I was visiting my parents and my Mom had just made me a plate of nachos. They consisted of crispy tortilla chips, sour cream, ground beef, salsa, lettuce, tomatos, and three types of Mexican cheeses. Why does it have to be Mexican you ask? Because Mexican taste better. Especially, on nachos that my Mom makes.

I’ll admit I wasn’t really watching the movie. I was concentrating more on getting the nachos in my mouth as opposed to all over my bare chest. It was summer and it was hot outside. I had just helped out by cutting the lawn. No, that’s a lie. I helped out by yelling to my Mom that she should take a break from cutting the lawn and make me some nachos because it was so hot outside. Now, as I said, I was eating the nachos and watching “The Notebook”. It’s not TV, It’s HBO.

The movie was somewhere about halfway through. James Gardner was running around telling some story about Ryan Gosling (who had really, really, white teeth) to some old lady who had no idea who he was or who she was or anything else for that matter. All she knew was, “I like this story.” What a stupid old lady. Oh really, old lady, you “like” this story. Why don’t you just shut up and eat some more yellow pudding because you’re stupid and you’re old. This is America!

Then the part happened. You know which part I’m talking about. The part where she stands up and says, “Noah, it’s us. The story is us”. And, he says, “Yes….”. And, that stupid old lady makes want to cry when all you wanted to do was eat some nachos and have your Mom go back to cutting the grass (even though your Dad who wasn't home told you to do it for her) so you could have control of the TV while you enjoy your nachos. OK. But, no. That would be too easy. Instead you have to fight back tears.

The next day it came back on and I watched it from the beginning and loved it. It’s a great, timeless love story. And, for all you guys out there that are hatin’ and refuse to watch it. Guess what? It’s really a story about a guy because Noah is the main character. Even though you try to act tough you’ll relate to him. And, if you don’t then I hate to be the one to tell you….You’re a chodemonkey…so go pop your collar and get the hell out of here.

Final Analysis: “The Notebook” is a great movie. And, I decided if I ever get married then I want what they have in “The Notebook”. We die together. If I can’t have that then I’d rather stay single for the rest of my life, grow old, and tell stories to myself that don’t make any sense to me, then remember the stories, and then go die alone in a bed hugging myself. Cheesy I know but I like cheese (read what I wrote about nachos).

FORCE THE BOYFRIEND: 10 out of 10 (1 means he'll hate it, 10 means he'll like it)- If he doesn’t like it then break up with him.

Chick Flick: 5 cartons of ice cream (out of 5)*
HBO: 5 pieces of milky chocolate (out of 5)
Nachos: 5 manly high fives (out of 5)

*It's a 5. I'm not here to argue technicalities such as cliche plot devices, cliche storylines, cliche characters, cliche white houses, and cliche white Ryan Gosling teeth. Because you're cliche. I just know how it made me feel. And, I never felt so alive.

If you want to find a beer to pair it with check out the The Draft House.