HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

CHICK FLICKS and BEER celebrated five years of being online.  And, by my own admission, I missed it.  Well, actually I remembered a while back, was planning to do something big, like throw a huge party, or shoot an hilarious video, or write a brand new still-in-theaters review, or just mention it to someone in conversation, and then I forgot about it.  So, I didn't actually do anything.  Mamma Mia, life is complicated!

So, instead I leave you with a few of our highlights over the past 5 years.  This is for anyone who ever read, commented, wrote, shared or enjoyed this blog.  You guys are sweet! I try to keep it going for you.  You had me at hello.  Stop.  You had me at hello.

Anywho, let's hope into the time machine and travel back May 5th, 2008 when I wrote about a movie released in 1992.

You can read about how it all started.  With the classic man-film Far and Away (1992), starring Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.  It was also directed by Ron Howard. (click poster to read)

And, then revisit one of my favorite chick flicks, The Notebook (2004).  Since, Cinco De Mayo was yesterday you could have some nachos while you watch. (click poster to read)

Then, The Sex and The City: The Movie (2008) came out and I refused to watch it.  When I finally did I could only make it about 20 minutes.  (click poster to read)

Once, we had a an excellent roundtable discussion.  With guys and girls chiming in on why... He's Just Not That Into You (2009).  And, boy was it fun.  And in three parts. (Click poster to read PART 1)

 CLICK HERE TO READ PART 2

CLICK HERE TO READ MORE IN PART 3

We also had some excellent guest bloggers along the way.  (Click posters below to read more)

Definitely, Maybe (2008) by Tyler Woolson

The Wedding Date (2005) by Brian P.

Magic Mike (2012) by Tim Rousseau

Pilar, the yorkie even showed up and barked her way into her own column.  It is appropriately named, PILAR BARKS!!! (click photo to read more)

I also covered a few beers.  Some good, some bad.  But, maybe the dumbest beer I ever covered was the Miller Lite Punch Top Can.  Hey, I gotta an idea.  I'm make a video of me shotgunning a beer (something I'm horrible at) and put it on youtube. But, hey at least it got it's own reviews.  

Buffmonkey33 said, "Your such a b**ch! Learn how to shotgun a beer like a man."

bretadoruben1 claimed, "Biggest p**sy on youtube!"

It's been a great five years.  I've made some wonderful new internet friends! Thanks to everyone for reading and thanks to everyone for giving comments, sharing, and enjoying a chick flick and a beer.

I love you all!  Let's do it for another 5 years!!!!

PILAR BARKS! NEW COLUMN!

Pilar is a yorkie with a lot to say about chick flicks.  She now has her own column, Pilar Barks!  I thought I would sit down with her, and ask her a few questions, so everyone could get to know her  a little better. 

JOSHUA:  What is it you like about chick flicks?

PILAR:  What is it I don't like about chick flicks?  Why do you like that shirt your wearing?

JOSHUA:  What's wrong with this shirt?

PILAR:  Nothing:  It's just hideous, that's all.  But, whatever floats your boat.

JOSHUA:  What about your shirt?

PILAR:  I'm not wearing a shirt.  I'm a dog.  The only shirts I ever wear my Mom puts on me and those are fab.

JOSHUA:  Back to chick flicks...What is your favorite chick flick?

PILAR:  What is your favorite chick flick?

JOSHUA:  That's a tough question.

PILAR:  And, you think I want to answer it?

JOSHUA:  Alright, I can tell your going to be difficult.  I guess this interview is over.

PILAR:  Good.  Take me on a walk!

To learn more about Pilar, follow her weekly column, Pilar Barks!

The Vow (2012)

by Joshua Simpkins 

Directed by Michael Sucsy
Starring Channing Tatum, and Rachel McAdams, with Sam Neill, Jessica Lange, and Scott Speedman

Have you ever made a vow? Have you ever loved something so much that you always promised to protect it? I’m talking something strong like a blood oath involving multiple people, and multiple species. Then, when the fairy princess you vowed always to love and protect is kidnapped and taken hostage in the darkness of night, you have set off on a quest to rescue her and bring her back, you and your loyal band of mythical creatures. Everyone quickly and eagerly agrees and together you all form the band of “The Vow”, upheld by your ancient blood oath. Of course, this movie The Vow (2012) has nothing to do with any of that whatsoever. It’s a completely different sort of vow.

Channing Tatum plays Leo, a nice, humble recording studio owner, who is married to the love of his life, Paige (Rachel McAdams). On the way home, after a night out, their car is rear-ended and Paige is sent flying through the windshield. When she wakes up, she doesn’t recognize Leo. In fact, she thinks she is her doctor, and the last thing she remembers is her life before Leo existed. Her estranged family returns to take care of her, and Leo has to fight for her just to come home with him. Upon returning home, life is even harder for Leo and Paige, who doesn’t understand why she is an artist and not a lawyer, and remember when she exactly broke up with her ex-fiancé, Jeremy (Scott Speedman). Leo puts all his effort and energy into helping her remember because he made a vow that he refuses to break. To Paige, Leo is nothing but a stranger.

Leo believes that life is made up of a series of moments: how they met, how they fall in love and how they get married. We learn about Leo and Paige’s life together through a series of flashbacks. They both have a strong love for one another, that is, until the accident, when Paige no longer remember their “moments” together and, therefore, no longer loves Leo. Leo then decides, to create new moments, and make her fall in love with him all over again. That’s when the band of mythical creatures is formed. Again, I kid.

I wasn’t sure about Channing Tatum in this role but he did an excellent job. By the end of the film, he was very believable as Leo.  His acting is genuine, sensitive, and honest. Rachel McAdams is great as always, and she seems real as Paige, although I think Tatum steals the show. There are also good performances from Sam Neill and Jessica Lange as her conservative and forceful parents. Scott Speedman plays a likeable douchebag to perfection.

The Vow was a better film that I expected. Honestly, I didn’t want to watch it at all. I wouldn’t have if it weren’t for my dedication to chick flicks. But, in the end, it surprised me. In fact, the ending isn’t exactly what you might expect and I liked that. I don’t want to spoil anything, but Paige doesn’t trip, hit her head on a rock, remember everything, and run off with Leo again. The ending had a little more depth.Their are a lot of similarities to The Notebook (2004), but The Vow still stands on its own.

FORCE THE BOYFRIEND: 6.5 out of 10 (The film is mostly a male lead, good acting, direction, and cinematography)

Beer Pairing Recommendation
What would be more perfect than Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA?
What better way to lose your memory, forget you lost it, and then drink 
have another one? 

                                            For more information, go over to IMDB

Nora Ephron Passes Away at Age 71

Nora Ephron passes away Tuesday at the age of 71 from leukemia.

If her name doesn't ring a bell...it should.  Especially if you like Chick Flicks.  She is responsible for many of your favorite chick flicks including, When Harry met Sally (1989), Sleepless In Seattle (1993), You've Got Mail(1998), and most recently, Julie and Julia  (2009).

                                        Check out my review of "Sleepless in Seattle" (1993) 

We'll have some more on Nora Ephron soon!  She will be missed.  RIP!

This made me notice I do not have a review up on Julie and Julia(2009), You've Got Mail(1998), or When Harry Met Sally (1989).  Weird!

CHICK FLICKS AGAIN!

Hello All,

It's been over to years since I started this crazy endeavor to watch chick flicks and drink beers. Looking back, here are some more of the more popular reviews. If you've read them before, read them again. If you haven't... enjoy.

Far and Away (1992)

The Notebook (2004)

A Walk To Remember (2002)

He's Just Not That Into You - Part 1 (2009)

He's Just Not That Into You - PART 2

He's Just Not That Into You - PART 3

The Women (1939) VS The Women (2008)

Thanks everyone for reading! Love, Joshua

Morning Glory (2010)

Starring Rachel McAdams, Harrison Ford, Diane Keaton, Patrick Wilson, and Jeff Goldblum

Directed by Roger Michell

What’s the story, Morning Glory? Wasn’t that an old Oasis album? You know…Oasis, the band who said they were going to be bigger than The Beatles, the band who said they were bigger than Jesus. I guess it’s OK to be bigger than Jesus. But, you better not say you’re bigger than The Beatles saying you’re bigger than The Beatles is sacrilegious. Irronically, I’m not entirely sure if Oasis, did, in fact, “Live Forever”.



If you are wondering if this is something along the lines of VH1: Behind the Music, then you are wrong. I just wanted to reference Oasis. Is there anything wrong with that? Maybe, there is, but seriously, you need to chill out. Chillax…take a chill pill. Go drink a Slurpee, or an ICEE, or a nice, tall whisky & water. Go and Relax! Go to Tropical Smoothie...You’re are way too uptight, and it’s stressing me out.

Anywho, this is about the future film classic, Morning Glory. A movie, excuse me, a film, that you will watch over, and over, and over, and over again; Studying it’s nuances, technique, character development, etc. It will be a classic for years to come, and I suspect, may even finally beat out Citizen Kane as the (disputed) best film of all time. It’s glorious. It’s Morning Glory. It will “Live Forever”.

Morning Glory is really about Becky Fuller (Rachel McAdams), a recently unemployed News Producer, who gets a shot at the big leagues when she is hired as the Executive Producer on a fledgling network morning show, Daybreak, where she is introduced to Adam (Patrick Wilson) with whom she begins to form a romance. (Deep Breath) Sorry, that was long sentence. She hires the aging hardnosed reporter, Mike Pomeroy (Harrison Ford) and things get interesting. And, let’s not forget Diane Keaton. She’s in it, too. If you are wondering if Becky is a workaholic who can’t get into a relationship then are correct. She loves what she does. She is going to “live forever”.

The acting in this chifli(pronounced she flea) isn’t that bad. Rachel McAdams, Harrison Ford, and Diane Keaton are all believable in their roles, and the overall movie is slightly better than your average chifli. You’ve seen movies like this before, but you’ll still be entertained. Also, they focus on the story more than just obsessing over her “will she get a man, etc”. Will she get a man? Do they ever get a man in any of these chick flicks? Oh, wait...they always get a man. Whatta mighty good man...say it again now.




I paired this flick with Pete’s Wicked Strawberry Blonde because, maybe I’m mistaken, but Rachel McAdams played a Strawberry Blonde in The Notebook. Also, strawberry blondes and morning news go together like brunettes and nightly news. Although, Rachel McAdams isn’t a strawberry blonde in this flick, but a busy-body brunette with bangs (ask Harrison Ford, I mean…Mike Pomeroy). Let me say this about Pete’s Wicked Strawberry Blonde…it’s delicious, and I’m going to give it a 5. And,I know what everyone out there is thinking. You’re thinking that I give almost everything a 5 and I’m not hard enough on the movies, either. What would you have me do, give everything a 1. Well, I’m not going to do that. So, chill out, because you’re stressing me out again.

All in all, Morning Glory is not a bad chifli (once again pronounced she flea, slang for chick flick)and I do recommend it. Rent it this weekend with your cat. Enjoy!



FORCE THE BOYFRIEND: 7 out of 10 (1 mean he'll hate it, 10 means he'll love it)

Watch if you liked...Rachel McAdams, Broadcast News, or The Notebook.

Chick Flick: 4 cartons of ice cream (out of 5)
Beer: 5 manly high fives (out of 5)

BON BON TUESDAY - Bride Flight (2008)

Looks like this is finally going to hit the states. Can't wait...its "Bride Flight"!!!!



Wait, I thought it was a horror film. Oh, nevermind. "Bride Flight" is directed by Ben Soombogaart. New Zealand? Holla!

Dirty Dancing (1987)

Directed by Emile Ardolino
Starring Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey

Nobody puts Baby in a corner!

What the hell does that even mean?

I know, I know. Nobody could believe it. I had never seen Dirty Dancing. I had no idea about Baby's summers at the lake. I had no idea about Patrick Swayze's smooth moves. I had no idea that "nobody puts Baby in a corner". Frankly, I feel like I've been living in the dark all these years.

Why should I have seen Dirty Dancing! I grew up with three brothers. Not one of us had any desire to watch Dirty Dancing. Or, maybe they watched it when I wasn't around. Road House, well that was another story. I've probably seen Road House 100 times. Road House is Awesome! But, I'm not here to talk about Road House. I'm here to discuss Dirty Dancing.

Dirty Dancing is a good movie. I might even slip it into my Sunday afternoon 80's Rainy Day Afternoon repetiore. It was very entertaining. The Dancing, The Dirtiness, The Dirty Dancing, that scene on the tree. Omg, that was hot. The montage scene was incredible! I really did have "the time of my life" watching this movie. The 80's Rock!

What is up with that college douchebag getting that girl pregnant? Oh, no he didn't... That is just plain wrong. And, we all know that teenagers didn't have sex back then. So, there was inconsistency there. And, am I wrong, or does the good Doctor owe Johnny Castle an apology. Don't mess with Johnny Castle! You hear me people!

Side note: Why did Jennifer Grey get a nose job? What the hell?

Ummmm, no comment.

BOTTOM LINE: Dirty Dancing is Dirty, Intense, Sexual, Intense, Sensual, Intense, and Dirty, and Intense. Nobody puts Baby in a corner!

For Dirty Dancing, I chose Abita Turbo Dog. I've had Turbo Dog before and it's very good...Try one.



FORCE THE BOYFRIEND: Not Applicable

Watch if you liked...Dirtiness and Dancing?

Chick Flick: 3 1/2 cartons of ice cream (out of 5)
Beer: 4 manly high fives (out of 5)

Valentine's Day (2010)

Directed by Garry Marshall

Starring Jessica Alba, Kathy Bates, Jessica Biel, Bradley Cooper, Patrick Dempsey, Jamie Foxx, Topher Grace, Jessica Gardner, Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutcher, Queen Latifah with Taylor Swift, the Werewolf Dude from Twilight, Hector Elizondo, and Shirley MacLaine

Just in time for Halloween comes my review for Valentine's Day! is the type of well-written, soul-searching, deep and meaningful drama that you might expect. This thing comes off at the frenetic pace of a David Mamet play..."Put that coffee down!" (side note: That line wasn't actually in that play)...if you don't believe me then "wiki" it. Scratch that...Google it!

Now, some of you readers might remember my strict rules about watching chick flicks. One of those very strict and very broken rules by me was that I had, of course, to drink a beer. Hence, the word "beer" in the title. I break that rule all the time. I actually am ashamed to admit that I watched this movie beer free. But, this time I actually broke the rule that I never, ever, ever, by any means break (except the exception of my Mom, and The Notebook) and I do mean by any means. Well....I finally broke my own rule. I watched it with a female...I'll leave it to you to figure out who...

On to the movie...Not sure what I should mention first...how about all of the bazillion actors involved...can somebody say paycheck?...Holla at your boy...I mean there were so many actors in this for 7 minutes a pop it was incredible. It's like a Who's Who of Who's Who...I figure it was easy material, a nice paycheck, and shot in LA.

It was directed of Garry Marshall, of many movies, most notably of Pretty Woman (hence Julia Roberts). And, the direction, well...it doesn't exist. It doesn't exist well, I mean....or maybe, just maybe its really really really good and I just don't see it. The best direction goes unnoticed after all.

This movie wasn't really that bad. Really it wasn't. Maybe it was and I'm just losing it. I don't know.



FORCE THE BOYFRIEND: 4 out of 10 (1 mean he'll hate it, 10 means he'll love it)

Chick Flick: 2 cartons of ice cream (out of 5)- Hugh Jackmanw as Ok.
DVD: 2 pieces of milky chocolate (out of 5)
Beer: 0 manly high fives (out of 5)- Didn't drink one

Leap Year (2010)

Directed by Anand Tucker
Starring Amy Adams and Matthew Goode with Adam Scott

So, this is the first posting since the summer...and I have been ignoring emails, dropping phones calls, unplugging internet cables, and burning chick flick DVDS. All the complaints about me not updating this site was just too much. So, I'm back...and just in time for...duh duh duh...LEAP YEAR.

What a fabulously cliche movie. It really had all the right elements for a classic chick flick. Type-A city girl meets Type- B Country Boy. She's American, he's Irish (or at least he has a horribly fake Irish Accent). And, in the end...they fall in love?

I'm not sure if they fall in love. I zoned out for reasons I won't go into here. I actually watched this a few weeks ago and forgot the beer I had with the movie. Did I even have a beer with the movie? What is beer? What are movies? What is life? Why do we even exist? Oh, the humanity...

I actually like Amy Adams. I was a huge fan of Enchanted...should I even admit that? I don't know who Matthew Goode is...is he Irish? I'm really too lazy to do my research on this. I think the beer I had was Japanese, or maybe a micro brew. I have had the Sams Adams Octoberfest recently. That is very good. Very, very good. But, I'm sure most of you loyal readers out there have pick up a 6-pack at your local grocery chain.

I use loyal very loosely...and in case you didn't notice...I was being sarcastic earlier in this thread. I didn't get one complaint about being lazy and not updating the site. Maybe nobody really cares about chick flicks. Maybe my writing sucks. No one ever comments or even complains so how am I supposed to know. Should I even continue this pointless study on female driven movies? What do you think?

Here's the trailer below...




FORCE THE BOYFRIEND: 1 out of 10 (1 mean he'll hate it, 10 means he'll love it) - Don't force yourself either.

Watch if you liked...really cliche chick flicks

Chick Flick: 2 cartons of ice cream (out of 5)- Hugh Jackmanw as Ok.
DVD: 1 pieces of milky chocolate (out of 5)
Beer: 0 manly high fives (out of 5)- because I forgot what it was...

The Bounty Hunter (2010)

Directed by Andy Tennant
Starring Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler

I saw this in the theater and I was alone. So, I sort of followed my own rules. The only problem is the theater didn't sell beer so I had to go with a Coke Zero...or Coke Z...or Z...as I call it. I love Coke Zero (yes, I am going to give it 5 stars). I think there was a total of 6 people in the theater including myself.

So, this is actually the first chick flick I have gone to see in the theater. And, I realized while watching it that actually paying and going to see this movie in theater puts it into a whole new category for judgement. You have to understand that the last movies I have seen in the theater were all great, great experiences (The Ghost Writer, Shutter Island, Sherlock Holmes)...Immediately, I was bored with this one. Cliche writing and characters...stupid locations...unrealistic situations...cheesy lines...all stuff in all the chick flicks I've seen before...and probably rated it lightly and gave it at least 3 stars. The only difference is that seeing it on the big screen just makes the missteps of the movie all the more noticable and hard to ignore.

The concept is simple. Gerard is a bounty hunter. Jennifer is a reporter. She skips court to follow a lead for a story and blah blah blah, Gerard has to bring her in. What's the catch. They are ex-husband and ex-wife. Whoo hoo...let's party.

This movie was bad...I'm actually bored writing this and having nothing else to say. Although, the Coke Z was delicious...but I already knew that.

FORCE THE BOYFRIEND: 4 out of 10 (1 mean he'll hate it, 10 means he'll love it) - Bounty hunting is pretty manly right?

Watched if you liked...Jennifer Aniston doing her thing...although she has done it better before.

Chick Flick: 2 cartons of ice cream (out of 5)-
DVD: 0 pieces of milky chocolate (out of 5)- saw it in the theater
Coke Zero: 5 manly high fives (out of 5) - best diet drink around

The Time Traveler's Wife (2009)

Directed by Robert Schwentke
Starring Rachel McAdams and Eric Bana with Ron Livingston and Arliss Howard

Wow. I really, really didn't want to pop this one into the DVD player. I mean the trailer even looked boring to me. This looked so boring and I really couldn't imagine Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams as a realistic couple. What does time travel and wives really have to do with each other? That sounds ridiculous. I mean, "The Time Traveler's Wife"...doesn't that sound like a horrible science fiction story? I thought it did.

Well, after about 5 minutes in I was hooked. I love stories about time travel. I love "Back To The Future"...all 3 of them. I love the original "The Time Machine"...what else involves time travel...I drawing a blank. Anyways, I've always found it interesting. I even think about it about once a week. The logistics involved....maybe that's why I liked the movie...because of the time time travel...or maybe its because I've been watching too many chick flicks and I'm turning into a sappy, pukey turd. It's one or the other.

While not the very beginning of the story their romance begins in a library in Chicago. Clare, played by Rachel McAdams, meets Henry and immediately informs him she has known him her whole life. He has no idea who she is and how she would know about his time travelling abilities. She says that the lasted time he visited her in her parents' meadow she was 18. He agrees to meet her for dinner and she explains to him that he has been visiting her for years, although, he is much older and she has never seen him so young....the love affair begins.

I'll go back to the time travel. Although, Henry can travel through time, he can't really determine when he will do it, where he will end up, or change anything to alter history. He just shows up naked and runs around until he transports back. It's more of a disease than an actually ability. I feel like they covered a lot of plot holes. Then again, I could be wrong...there could be infinite plot holes but I'd need to see it again to timeline some of the stuff.

This has tearjerker moments and I had to fight it back a few times. So enjoy. Your boyfriend, or hubby, will probably hate it unless he likes time travel like I do.

I had a rather delicious beer by Harpoon called White: UFO. It was very good...also very Euro.

FORCE THE BOYFRIEND: 4 out of 10 (1 mean he'll hate it, 10 means he'll love it)

Watched if you liked...The Notebook, Rachel McAdams, or time travel

Chick Flick: 4 cartons of ice cream (out of 5)- maybe a 5?
DVD: 0 pieces of milky chocolate (out of 5)- no extras
Beer: 4 manly high fives (out of 5)

Waitress (2007)

Directed by Adrienne Shelly
Starring Keri Russell, Nathan Fillion, and Jeremy Sisto with Cheryl Hines, Adrienne Shelly and Andy Griffith

So, here is yet another movie, that I would have never subjected myself...and yet...I do again and again. A movie about a waitress who is into making pies..boooriing. She is unhappy in her marriage...booorinng. She wants to start a new life for herself...boooring. She's pregnant...booring again. This thing had chick flick fluff garbage all over it. And, yet, I still sat down to watch it (this time with an Yuengling Original Black and Tan). And, in the end, I actually enjoyed it.

"Waitress" stars Keri Russell (think "Felicity") as Jenna, a Waitress (surprise!) whose desperate plan to leave her controlling husband Earl, played by Jeremy Sisto, is foiled when she discovers she is pregnant with his baby. Not the type of woman who would give up a baby, she decides to keep it which leads her to meet the new Doctor in town, played by Nathan Fillion (think "Two Guys, A Girl, and A Pizza Place"). She is not happy about this pregnancy or her life but still gets tons of support from her co-workers, and Andy Griffith. The only think she really loves in life is making pies, and she is really an artist when it comes to making pies.

That's it. That's the set-up. What do you think will happen? Well, you'll have to watch it. I'm not going to tell you here. I will say this. I do find after watch all these chick flicks with their cookie-cutter characters and plots, etc. that whenever one is made with a writer/director it does make that chick flick a lot more interesting. There are some pretty surreal moments in "Waitress", strange things that wouldn't normally be seen in your average chick flick. I think its for the better. And, I craved pie throughout the entire movie.

"Waitress" is actually very entertaining once you allow yourself time to get into it. This is because the characters are so (should I use the chicky word) "endearing". Although, it took me a little while to get used to non-southern actors using southern accents. And, if you have problems with non-southern actors using southern accents then you know what I'm talking about. These aren't that bad so you get used to them pretty quickly.

The Yuengling's Original Black and Tan. I really recommend this if your a fan of Black and Tan. It's probably the next best thing to getting one in a bar.

This movie is overshadowed by the death of the actor/writer/director Adrienne Shelly who was murdered during post-production on this film. It's actually a very sad and tragic story. If you want to know more check her out on imdb or wiki it.

FORCE THE BOYFRIEND: 7 out of 10 (1 mean he'll hate it, 10 means he'll love it)

Watched if you liked...any chick flick whatsoever.

Chick Flick: 4 cartons of ice cream (out of 5)
DVD: 3 pieces of milky chocolate (out of 5)-a nice homage to director Adrienne Shelly
Beer: 5 manly high fives (out of 5)- but then again, I love Black and Tans

Love Happens (2009)

Directed by Brandon Camp
Starring Aaron Eckhart and Jennifer Aniston with Dan Fogler, John Carroll Lynch, Martin Sheen and Judy Greer

I really wanted this movie to be really bad so I could play with the wording of the title a little bit. You know...instead of "Love Happens" I say "Sh!t Happens". Wouldn't that be a lot of fun. I think it would. I also think it's clever and original to use the term "Sh!t Happens" because well, sometimes it does happen. That's what I think and I'm sticking to it. Problem is, the movie wasn't sooo bad that I can slam it and say that the title should have been "Sh!t Happens". But, I will ask...Where in this movie does love happen? Specifically, between the two leads.

Aaron Eckhart plays Burke Ryan, a motivational speaker whose most recent best-selling book helps people deal with the loss of a loved one. Burke himself is a widower and he bases much in his book in dealing with his death of his wife. He travels to her hometown (Seattle)for a seminar and meets a flower shop owner named Eloise, played by Jennifer Aniston. They're intro is rocky but they soon hit it off and are spending time together. The catch is that Burke is hiding a lot of frustration and guilt (you know...feelings) concerning his wife's passing.

FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN'T SEEN IT READ THIS: If you haven't seen the film then watch it and continue down to the next paragraph.

FOR THOSE WHO HAVE SEEN IT READ THIS: Am I wrong here or would Burke's action throw him right into the "friend zone"? After their second interaction in which he goes of on her and gives her the finger, he turns all mushy and complicated, and doesn't make any moves other than staring at her ackwardly. Is that considered a move nowadays? He does seem like he needs her help but he also is very guarded. Granted Eloise seems like the type of girl who is into guy's that need fixing. But, why would she like him so quickly? He has like 50 oppurtunities to kiss her and then doesn't...I know, I know...they shouldn't really kiss until the end...classic chick flick rule...introduce the characters, split them apart, kiss at the end, roll credits. It just seemed to me that they seemed like better friends. What do you think?

FOR ANYONE: This movie wasn't that bad. It was really more of a movie about Burke than it was Eloise, or them together. In fact, it was sort of a serious subject matter with a rom com thrown into the middle. This made the tone of the film a little shifty. But, the serious scenes were played well. Maybe my problem was the chemistry between Aaron Eckhart and Jennifer Anniston. This is the same type of part Anniston has been playing all-the-time recently and it seemed like she really phoned it in.

I had a really good beer for this screening. It was a beer from the great state of Michigan called Bell's Two Hearted Ale. It was a very hoppy, very full flavored beer and it was delicious. I definitely recommend it.

FORCE THE BOYFRIEND: 6 out of 10 (1 mean he'll hate it, 10 means he'll love it)- main character is really a male.

Watched if you liked...any chick flick with Jennifer Aniston.

Chick Flick: 3 cartons of ice cream (out of 5)
DVD: 3 pieces of milky chocolate (out of 5)-for a wierd special feature that showcases how almost every scene was CGI.
Beer: 4 manly high fives (out of 5)

BRIDGE CLUB: The Country Girl (1954)

Directed by George Seaton

Starring Grace Kelly, Bing Crosby, and William Holden

Welcome to BRIDGE CLUB, where I pick what I consider “classic” chick flicks. The same rules still apply (Never seen it, watch it alone, beer). The only difference is these are movies that teenage girls might call “old” with disdain.

I picked "The Country Girl" for two reasons. One, it had Grace Kelly, and dos, I thought it would be a classic example of ella "chick flick". I will take a moment to talk about Grace Kelly. If you don’t know who Grace Kelly is then stop reading right now and go rent “Rear Window” (1954) then come back and read the rest of this. She was…amazing. And, yes, girls…instead of growing up and pretending to be a princess (walking around with “princess” across the ass of her juicy couture sweat pants)…she actually became one. She married the Prince of Monaco. Unfortunately, for us moviegoers, she never really acted again. This gives us only a few films to enjoy with Grace Kelly. TCG is one of them, and she won an Academy Award for it. I had never seen it and thought it might be a good classic chick flick.

I was wrong. This isn’t really a chick flick. I will say it does have subject matter that women will find compelling but it doesn’t really fit the genre of “chick flick”. It is really a film about men (arguable) and the women who support them. While this is a really, really good movie I don’t think it is a great movie. Although, Grace Kelly is great in it. It also stars the always manly and forceful William Holden, and Bing Crosby in a dramatic role. I like William Holden a lot (see “Sunset Boulevard” (1950)), but he was the weakest performance (of the three main actors) in this film.

William Holden, plays Bernie Dodd, a successful Broadway director who recently fired the male lead in his most recent production that is about go on the road. Going against the protests of his producer, Bernie brings in Frank Elgin, played by Bing Crosby, an aging “down on his luck” ex-alc0holic Broadway actor whom he always admired growing up. Bernie is introduced to Frank’s stern wife Georgie, played by Grace Kelly, and quickly learns of their shadowed past. They both want the best for Frank who personally worries whether or not he can handle the role.

That’s the set-up….If you don’t want spoilers quit reading….

(SPOILER)

About three quarters of the way through the film I actually said to myself, “What the f*ck?” It was so obvious that the studios were run by men, just in what the actors were saying and how women (Grace in this movie) were reacting to them. Maybe women were different at the time...they were different at the time...but, wtf! You know what I’m not going to spoil the film. Watch it and see for yourself.

SIDE NOTE: So, I think watching all these chick flicks has really changed the way I watch movies. Especially, some of these “classic” films…I’m starting to approach them and watch them more from a women’s perspective. How are the women treated, how are they written, how are they reacting. In this way, this film almost disturbed me…but had a saving grace (no pun intended) at the end.

Maybe this blog is making me soft. I don’t know. I don’t really care. As far as the rating goes for "The Country Girl" I have rated it differently then I would say “Never Been Kissed” (1999). I’m giving both a 4 out of 5. However, “The Country Girl” is by far a superior film. The difference is that TCG is film while NBK is simply a movie.

FORCE THE BOYFRIEND: 6 out of 10 (1 means he'll hate it, 10 means he'll like it)

Watch if you liked....Classic films.

Chick Flick: 4 cartons of ice cream (out of 5) - rated harder than other chick flicks

DVD: 1 pieces of milky chocolate (out of 5) - good quality image..nothing on DVD

Beer: 4 manly high fives (out of 5)

Made of Honor (2008)

Directed by Paul Weiland
Starring Patrick Dempsey, Michelle Monaghan with Sydney Pollack, Kevin McKidd, Kathleen Quinlan, and Busy Phillips

So, here we have Patrick "McDreamy" Dempsey. They call him "McDreamy" because he is apparently pretty "dreamy" and when you put the "mc" in front of things it makes it more than whatever it is. I guess "dreamy" didn't do it enough justice so the powers that be made him "McDreamy" and then America fell in love. Or, it might have something to do with Grey's Anatomy, a show I haven't seen.

In this film, "McDreamy" plays Tom, a womanizing playboy who invented the coffee sleeve or some tiny invention that has made him rich. Michelle Monaghan plays Hannah, his best friend in the whole world. They have been best friends for 10 years since he "accidentally" invaded Hannah's bed in search of her roommate. Hannah goes of to Scotland for work, and Tom discovers that he has true feelings for her. Tom plans to tell her but, as soon as she arrives back to New York, he is immediately introduced her new fiance Colin, a Scottish Duke. Hannah asks Tom to be her maid of honor, he plans to win her back and, as in most chick flicks, hi-jinks ensue.

I've always been a fan of Patrick Dempsey (even before he became "McDreamy") in movies like Can't Buy Me Love and Loverboy. He brings a lot to the character of Tom and plays him well. Michelle Monaghan is also good as Hannah. These two actors have good chemistry and it is believable that they could be longtime best friends. While this wasn't a bad film, I feel like this could have been a much better film if it just took itself just a little more seriously. There were strange comic moments that were interjected within the storyline and seemed out of place. As if the producers were like, this isn't funny enough, let's put some glow-in-the-dark "sex" beads around the Grandma's neck. The fact that Grandma was slighty interested in the beads in the first place was funny. They didn't need to have an ackward out of place shot with her wearing them a week later at the wedding. It was these moments that really detracted from the movie.

The premise of him being the Maid of Honor was a little wacky and it seems that us men get it easy when it comes to weddings. After all, we only have to plan bachelor parties and ask the groom multiple times if he is "sure" that he "wants to go through with this". All you girls have to plan showers and provide "support" etc. Why do they call them showers anyways? I've never really understood that. Is it really that hard to be a bridesmaid? It always seems like it is really dramatic and I hear about bridesmaids getting fired and there being falling outs with the bride and stuff like that? Does that really happen? Why are weddings so crazy?

This film play a trick...in that even though it is obviously a chick flick..it has a male lead and is really about the male character. So...boom.

For Made of Honor I drank an IBC Diet Root Beer. This root beer is delicious and should be consumed icey cold directly from the bottle. If you like root beer and you want to try a diet root beer I suggest this one. It doesn't get much better than this.

FORCE THE BOYFRIEND: 6 out of 10 (1 means he'll hate it, 10 means he'll like it)

Watch if you liked....Grey's Anatomy or wedding movies.

Chick Flick: 3 cartons of ice cream (out of 5)
DVD: 1 pieces of milky chocolate (out of 5)
Beer: 5 manly high fives (out of 5)

All About Steve (2009)

Directed by Phil Traill
Starring Sandra Bullock, Thomas Hayden Church, and Bradley Cooper

I’ve got to give it to Sandra Bullock in 2009. She popped up in 3 movies, in 3 completely different characters, and she really did an excellent acting job in all of them. It doesn't really matter if you liked the movie or not, she is good in all of them. So, if you want to continue along these lines, then we can step outside, I'm fine with it. Let's go.

In All About Steve, she plays Mary Magdalene Horowitz, a not-so-simple-know-it-all Jewish Catholic woman who creates crossword puzzles for a living and really can’t seem to shut up. When we meet her she is about to meet Steve, a blind date, that her parents have set her up with. They meet and for some odd reason, mostly looks alone if not horniness, she decides Steve is the one. She jumps him in his Bronco he can pull out of the driveway, and he is game, that is until she begins to talk and talk and talk which, in turn freaks him out and he quickly makes up an excuse and leaves. Somewhere in his quick departure he says he “has to work” and “wishes that she could come with him”. She goes home and writes a crossword puzzle that is “All about Steve”, the taste of his lips, the color of his hair, etc. It is published and she gets fired. She sees her termination as a sign that she should go and me be with Steve and quickly runs off across the country to meet him.

Sandra does an excellent job as Mary, in fact, I really do forget that it is Sandra Bullock about 15 minutes in to the movie. Do not get me wrong, she is not going to win an Academy Award for this. In fact, no one associated with this is going to win an Oscar. It’s has a lot of faults, like most chick flicks. But, it is, in my opinion, refreshingly different. I really couldn’t tell where the movie was going even though I thought I could and can in just about every other chick flick that I have watched. There were some pretty funny moments, and it is a good turn for Thomas Hayden Church who is really always pretty great.

The soundtrack was a little odd to me. It seemed to be right out of 2000. The song that is played at the climax of the movie is by the song Train. You know the one. The one that goes, “did you wish upon....a shooting…star…something…something… something….”. I think I even heard some Sugar Ray, and maybe some that song “Be my butterfly…sugar…baby.” Maybe not. Listen to the songs…you’ll know what I was talking about.

As far as the beer goes…I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I forgot to drink a beer for this one. I even had it all picked out. It was a coffee flavored, or coffee-inspired beer, and I really meant to drink it. I just forgot. Maybe that tells you something about the movie. Maybe not. Oh well, I’ll drink it next.

Final Analysis...Sandra Bullock's acting rises above the rest of the movie...I believed she was the crazy ass character...maybe you will too maybe you want...my guess is...you'll either like this movie or think it sucked.

FORCE THE BOYFRIEND: 5 out of 10 (1 means he'll hate it, 10 means he'll like it)

Watch if you liked....The Proposal or Sandra Bullock.

Chick Flick: 3 cartons of ice cream (out of 5)
DVD: 1 pieces of milky chocolate (out of 5)
Beer: 0 manly high fives (out of 5)

The Top 7 Chick Flicks of the 2000's -or- How Us Guys Learned to Stop Stressing and Just Watch The Chick Flick And Possibly Learn Something

If I've learned anything from watching all of these chick flicks it's that (Surprise!) some of them really aren't that bad. And, that some of them are really, really bad. Guys have been subjected to all kinds of horrible chick flick torture, and I know that secretly many of them ended up enjoying the movies that they were forcefully subjected to. So, in honor of 2010, I've compiled the Top 7 Chick Flicks of the 2000's and included a couple things us guys (and girls) may have learned from watching them.

7. My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)- This was a sleeper hit that no guy in his right mind would have ever wanted to see but when we did it actually wasn’t that bad. Like, Bridget Jones's Diary (see no. 5), hopefully, you women realized that guys perceive you differently than you might see yourselves. But, this movie was necessarily about the couple’s relationship with each other as much as it was about their relationship with her family. And, what a big, fat, greek family it was. This movie had a big heart which I think is necessary to any successful chick flick. See my review here.

6. Devil Wears Prada (2006)- The reason this movie is so good is because by the end of it we forget that its Meryl Streep acting. She’s that good. Maybe, us guys learned that you gotta let a girl go out there and do her own thing. Maybe you girls learned that you can’t please everyone all of the time. Hopefully, all of us learned to stand up for ourselves a little bit. Personally, I think the devil really does wear Prada.

5. Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)- If there is anything us guys learned from Bridget Jone’s Diary it was how cute and fun a girl with a “little extra meat on her bones” could be. Hopefully, if it taught you girls anything it’s that guys aren’t as picky and finicky about your body as you think we are (not most of us anyway). This movie was all about personality and it had a lot of it. It spawned a not-so-great sequel and we’ve been wishing Renee would go ahead and eat something ever since.

4. How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days (2003)- If anything can be said about Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson its that they can be really hit-or-miss (for bad Kate Hudson see “Bride Wars”; for bad Mr. Matt see, “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past”). But, whatever the case, the planets must have aligned and brought them together for HTLAG10D because they are both at their absolute best. Maybe both sexes learned that games aren’t funny. Or, maybe we didn’t learn anything. Doesn’t really matter, this movie is pure entertainment.

3. Legally Blonde (2001)-This movie was a cute comedy with a heart of gold (cheesy, I know…I thought of that myself) and made Reece Witherspoon a superstar. It schooled us guys to not judge a book by its cover and really taught everyone that blondes really do have more fun. Two horrible sequels have followed (the most recent called “Legally Blondes”) but we’ll just all try to remember Elle Woods as she was in this original chick flick. You go girl.

2. Love Actually (2003)- While this was an extremely well written movie with an amazing ensemble cast I think it was the underlying message, “Love actually is all around,” that made it such a great film. There were many lessons to be learned from this film (for both sexes). Maybe it was to appreciate the love your already have in your life. Or, for us guys, maybe it was just to verify that if we go to a different country we become exotic, immediately meet 3 amazingly hot roommates, and get to have the best sex of our lives. Whatever it was, I think the scenes of couples embracing at the airport, that bookend the film, really show what this film was all about.

1. The Notebook (2004)- This chick flick is great for so many reasons (see my review). One, the trailer looked horrible and made me throw up in my mouth. It looked like overly sentimental trash. And, maybe it was overly sentimental. But, in all the right ways. What did we guys learn from this? Maybe it’s to never give up on our dreams. Or, possibly, we don’t have to fight the fiance to get back the girl. He’ll be gracious about it and give her up without a fight. I’m really not going to go into why this movie is so great. If you don’t know why it’s great then you haven’t watched it…I mean really watched it. See my review here.


Runners Up (and why they didn't make it);

Sweet Home Alabama (2002)- because I hate movies with bad southern stereotypes

Mamma Mia (2008)- because not everyone loved it as much as I did...and that's understandable. See my review here.

Sex and The City: The Movie (2008) because I didn't learn anything from it...because I couldn't make it past the first 20 minutes. See my review here.

The Sweetest Thing (2002)- because while it is the first female "gross out" comedy. Well, I just didn't like it enough. See my review here.

Notting Hill (1999)- because it's actually from the 90's.

The Holiday (2006)- because...well, actually...I'm not sure because I really like this movie so maybe I should have included it. My bad.

The Notebook (2004)

Directed by Nick Cassavetes
Starring Ryan Gosling, Rachel McAdams, James Gardner and Gena Rowlands

by Joshua Simpkins

Ok, so I have been getting a lot of requests for me to write a review on “The Notebook”. The only problem is I’ve already seen “The Notebook” multiple times. For me to write a real review on “The Notebook” it would break every rule I’ve ever made in reviewing these movies aka “chick flicks”. Does “The Notebook” deserve enough for me to break my own rules? Let me go over them again;

1. I must have never seen the chick flick before.
2. I must watch the chick flick alone. (That means no girlfriends, friendgirls, girlfriends of friends, friendgirls of girlfriends, girlfriends of girlfriends, friendgirls of friends, Moms, Aunts, sisters, cousins, or any of their girlfriends, lesbians, Grandmas, or hot girl neighbors who seem to mysterious live near you but you can figure out where they live or if they have a boyfriend or even better, a girlfriend.)
3. I must drink a beer while watching the chick flick.

Those are my rules. And, they are finite. But, rules are made to be broken. Especially, my rules. I am, after all, the Ultimate Bad Boy Rebel (in Polo shorts).

The first time I caught “The Notebook” I was visiting my parents and my Mom had just made me a plate of nachos. They consisted of crispy tortilla chips, sour cream, ground beef, salsa, lettuce, tomatos, and three types of Mexican cheeses. Why does it have to be Mexican you ask? Because Mexican taste better. Especially, on nachos that my Mom makes.

I’ll admit I wasn’t really watching the movie. I was concentrating more on getting the nachos in my mouth as opposed to all over my bare chest. It was summer and it was hot outside. I had just helped out by cutting the lawn. No, that’s a lie. I helped out by yelling to my Mom that she should take a break from cutting the lawn and make me some nachos because it was so hot outside. Now, as I said, I was eating the nachos and watching “The Notebook”. It’s not TV, It’s HBO.

The movie was somewhere about halfway through. James Gardner was running around telling some story about Ryan Gosling (who had really, really, white teeth) to some old lady who had no idea who he was or who she was or anything else for that matter. All she knew was, “I like this story.” What a stupid old lady. Oh really, old lady, you “like” this story. Why don’t you just shut up and eat some more yellow pudding because you’re stupid and you’re old. This is America!

Then the part happened. You know which part I’m talking about. The part where she stands up and says, “Noah, it’s us. The story is us”. And, he says, “Yes….”. And, that stupid old lady makes want to cry when all you wanted to do was eat some nachos and have your Mom go back to cutting the grass (even though your Dad who wasn't home told you to do it for her) so you could have control of the TV while you enjoy your nachos. OK. But, no. That would be too easy. Instead you have to fight back tears.

The next day it came back on and I watched it from the beginning and loved it. It’s a great, timeless love story. And, for all you guys out there that are hatin’ and refuse to watch it. Guess what? It’s really a story about a guy because Noah is the main character. Even though you try to act tough you’ll relate to him. And, if you don’t then I hate to be the one to tell you….You’re a chodemonkey…so go pop your collar and get the hell out of here.

Final Analysis: “The Notebook” is a great movie. And, I decided if I ever get married then I want what they have in “The Notebook”. We die together. If I can’t have that then I’d rather stay single for the rest of my life, grow old, and tell stories to myself that don’t make any sense to me, then remember the stories, and then go die alone in a bed hugging myself. Cheesy I know but I like cheese (read what I wrote about nachos).

FORCE THE BOYFRIEND: 10 out of 10 (1 means he'll hate it, 10 means he'll like it)- If he doesn’t like it then break up with him.

Chick Flick: 5 cartons of ice cream (out of 5)*
HBO: 5 pieces of milky chocolate (out of 5)
Nachos: 5 manly high fives (out of 5)

*It's a 5. I'm not here to argue technicalities such as cliche plot devices, cliche storylines, cliche characters, cliche white houses, and cliche white Ryan Gosling teeth. Because you're cliche. I just know how it made me feel. And, I never felt so alive.

If you want to find a beer to pair it with check out the The Draft House.

Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)

Starring Isla Fisher, Hugh Dancy, Joan Cusack, John Goodman
Directed by P.J. Hogan

NAME: Rebecca Bloomwood
OCCUPATION: Journalist
CREDIT CARDS: 12

You know that feeling that you girls get when you see a hot guy. You know how your heart beats faster, you get weak in the knees, and time stands still. Well, that’s how Rebecca feels about shopping. She loves to shop. It makes things better and when she shops for a brief moment the world is a better place….and then its not…so she shops again. The only problem is she’s not wealthy and she has to charge everything to her multiple almost entirely maxed out collection of credit cards. Girl, you got a problem. $16,000 worth. Looks we have ourselves a shopaholic.

Seriously, stop judging her. She knows she has a problem. She knows she’s in debt. It’s not her fault. She wants to stop. She can’t. Mannequins are freaking talking to her in the store. They are telling her to buy these things. She is afraid. Sh!t, I know I would be. I would do what they say, too. Either that or run screaming from the store. And, its not like what they want her to do is that bad. All she has to do is buy some Prada shoes, or a Guccini handback or something and they stop talking to her. Sounds like a deal to me.

One day, after realizing how much she really is in debt, she meanders into a store and is told by one of these Mannequins to buy a green scarf. This mannequin tells her that the scarf isn’t a need, it’s a necessity. She must have it to stay warm in the wintertime. It’s OK to buy right, as long as it’s a basic need. And, she needs it to look fabulous for her job interview at her dream magazine, She grabs the scarf and heads to the counter only to discover that $50 cash, and $20 dollars on one card, and $30 on another, and more on another declined card, isn’t actually enough. Can you hold it please? No, we don’t hold sale items. So, what does Rebecca do? She panics and runs out of the towards a hotdog vendor who refuses to cash a check for all his hotdogs over $23 dollars. Enter Hugh Dancy. Where have I seen him before? Oh yeah, “The Jane Austen Book Club”. That’s right. He’s dreamy. Anyways, in the movie he’s just a guy who wants a hot dog. So much in fact, that to get her out of his way, he gives her $20 bucks and waves goodbye with a catchy one liner. Now, that’s pimp (pronounced P, I, M, Pimp).

The stage is set…for romance, comedy, drama, hijinks, fashion, and everything else. Will Rebecca get her dream job? Will she get the man of her dreams? Will she ever break her shopping addiction? Well, you’ll just have to watch to find out. But, I will say there is plenty of mishaps, shopping, and poppy techno music to go around (with robot voice lyrics like “now you’re a girl... a girl, girl, girl... you go shop girl...you girl girl girl...now you go shop some more... and then you go girl").

You’ll remember Isla Fisher as he semi-crazy girlfriend turned wife to Vince Vaughn in “Wedding Crashers” (2005). She is pretty good in this too. There are also some decent actors in some of the secondary roles. Joan Cusack and John Goodman seem to be having a lot of fun playing the frugal parents of our shopaholic. Kristin Scott Thomas, etc. etc.

I didn’t actually drink a beer with this one because I watched it while I was sick sitting at home. I did have some Progresso Traditional 99% Fat Free Chicken Noodle soup. It had their “most tender chicken ever” and was full of vitamins and minerals. And, at only 100 calories a serving you can literally go nuts on it. I ate it cold, right out of the can, and it was still dee-lish.

FORCE THE BOYFRIEND: 2 out of 10 (1 means he'll hate it, 10 means he'll like it)

Watch it if you liked "Sex and the City: The Movie" (2008) or you like shopping.

Chick Flick: 3 cartons of ice cream (out of 5)

DVD: 1 pieces of milky chocolate (out of 5)

Soup: 5 manly high fives (out of 5)