Sex and the City 2 (2010)

Directed by Michael Patrick King

Starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon, and Kristin Davis

Sex and Cities are back! It’s “Sex and the City 2”. SATC 2. Yeah, baby!

If you think I’m excited about this…you’re wrong. I only made it 20 minutes into the first one before I had to shut it off (see SATC: The Movie – the first twenty minutes). In an effort to make something fresh that has lived through a long, drawn out series and two movies I decided:

To write my review in “real time” as I watch it. So here it goes…

In New York…blah blah blah…it’s New York. What are those shoes? They’re Loub’s (Thanks Tiffany). Apparently there’s going to be a “gay” wedding. Apparently, I should stop calling it a “gay” wedding. Ok, now it’s ok to call it a “gay” wedding. (Thanks, Carrie). Swan, “gay” things, Liza Minelli…if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it. If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it. If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it. Surrogate service? Wtf! Ah, it sets up Carrie to need to have a baby.

This wedding scene is way, way too long. Ahh, dog humping…now that is funny.

Apparently, the nanny should wear a bra. It should be a law. The “Jude Law”. Ah, this sets up Erin’s worry about her husband wanting to sleep with the nanny.

Why can’t Mr. Big kick back and throw his feet up?

Now, Marinda quits her job and “makes” it to her son’s science fair. He wins and she “makes” it. She never “makes” it.

Samantha is rubbing some sort of cream on her hoo haw to “freshen up”. Now, she is invited by some dude with abs to a red carpet event. Now, she has to go. She’s pulling up her panties to get to the lunch date.

At this point, I questioning or not whether this movie is actually evil. Why? Because, these women live in NYC. And, women (including young girls) are watching this and thinking that they have to be “fabulous”, or “whatever” even though they live in the Midwest, or New England, or…

Why can’t Mr. Big install a big screen TV for their anniversary because it represented a nice time they have together? She got him a vintage Rolex and he got her a TV because he wanted to spend time with her. I’m going with Mr. Big on this one.

JAY Z is rapping again…I like this part…This leads to Miley Cyrus at the premiere. Oh crap, her and Samantha are wearing the same dress. Oh snap, girls unite!

Carrie and Mr. Big are fighting about the TV again.> Cuisine Art paid some money for an extreme close-up of their new state-of-the-art coffee maker.> Carrie’s at her old apartment so she can knock out some magazine articles.

Girls Lunch! This sets up the girls to go to Abu Dhabi. I mean Samantha went to all those birthday parties for Erin. Ring, Ring…who is that…Mr. Big…in a limo…a limo…omg…they missed each other. And, the TV stayed “off” the entire night. The End.

Wait, this movie is still going….Mr. Big and Carrie are talking again about their marriage…gag me. Seriously, gag me so I pass out and can’t watch the rest of this. More marriage talk…the closet, the bathroom, the breakfast table. “Carrie, we are adults without children. We have the luxury to design our life.” Good one.

Sidenote: Skip ahead to the scene where they fly to Abu Dhabi and take a look at Carrie’s hat. If you women, think that hat is fashionable then I am allowed to wear whatever I want until the end of time because that hat is the most hideous thing I have ever seen in my life. It looks like some creature landed on her head and died, birthed something, and then that something died…and then sat on her head.

At this point, I don’t know if I can write anymore. I mean…I’m going brain dead. I don’t have much more to say about this…culturally, culturally, or…culturally. I see why women love this series. It’s glitz, it’s glamour, it’s Abu Dhabi! I’ll let them have it. I just want to watch the rest of this without have to think about what I’m actually seeing.

I selected a beer that I thought was appropriate. It is Michelob Ultra- Pomegranate Raspberry. It tastes like juice and I don’t think it has any alcohol in it. It’s light and crispy. But, I don’t really consider it a beer. Nuff said.

* Throughout the entire movie I thought that Charlotte's name was actually Erin. Shows you how much I know about Sex and Cities.

1 out of 10 (1 mean he'll hate it, 10 means he'll love it) - Find a girlfriend to watch this one with and everyone will thank you for it :)

Watch if you liked...anything else regarding Sex and the City.

Chick Flick: unrateable
DVD: unrateable
Beer: 1 manly high fives (out of 5)

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