A Walk To Remember (2002)

Starring Mandy Moore and Shane West
Directed by Adam Shankman

Recommended by: Allison

I just finished watching “A Walk To Remember” about two minutes ago. And, I’ve got to say…Nicholas Sparks…What is your deal? I mean, come on, bro! Does someone have to die in every single one of your stories? I’ve been watching movies based on your books since before I even knew who you were and that there were movies based on your books and looking back I realize everyone single one has a death in the end. I think the first one I saw was “Message In A Bottle” starring Kevin Costner and Robin Wright Penn (Jen-nay). That one really got me. I didn’t know what the hell it was. I thought I was watching some movie about a hard, loner boat builder and all of a sudden this chick shows up…it gets all lovey dovey…life is great…and then (SPOILER ALERT)…a storm randomly hits at sea and Costner dies…and I’m fighting back tears. I didn't know who to blame so I just blamed the cable company. Screw you HBO! Then a few years later comes “The Notebook” well don’t get me started…I will say that at least that death seems reasonable…well, at least they are really old.

According the DVD cover, Mark S. Allen (UPN) says that, “Mandy Moore is Awesome."

The movie’s opening was great with one of my favorite songs from the early nineties, a buzz-clip, called Cannonball by The Breeders. It even played the whole song. I didn’t even let the douche crew on screen ruin the song for me. What’s with all the high fives and chest bumps? Who the hell is this wannabe Abercrombie model, circa 1999? Is that Mandy Moore? No, it isn’t. Who the hell is that chick? Where’s Mandy Moore? Did I hear Mandy Moore married Ryan Adams? That sandwich from lunch didn’t sit well. Or was it a burrito? I can’t remember. Why did I agree to watch this? All these guys look alike to me. That dude’s car looks pretty cool. Why do they keep yelling? I wonder if I have any Tums. I’m too young to own Tums. Should I pause it and go to the bathroom? What the hell is the douche crew talking about? Maybe I should go to the bath….Ohhhhhh! Some kid did a face plant. Oh shit, he looks paralyzed. What did these douchebags make him do? Cops! Action! Nicholas Sparks? Bathroom!

Finally, Mandy Moore enters the film and she looks pretty nerdy. Kinda got a church thing going on but, I dig it. I’m not even into Mandy Moore. Why was my interest in this film hinging on her involvement? Was it the "awesome" comment by Mark S. Allen (UPN)? Why am I asking so many questions? What happened to the kid that did a faceplant? Mandy Moore is singing. She looks young as hell in this. Peter Coyote is playing a preacher? Now, I’ve seen everything. Wait, no I haven’t. What the hell is the Abercrombie, circa 1999, doing? I’m not talking about the lead guy. I’m talking about the guy who keeps waving his arms around when he talks. The guy that gets hit in the face in the cafeteria after they make the “Virgin Mary” Mandy Moore flyers. What a chode! Hejust got hit in the face by the Main Guy and now he is calling him a chicken. How does that make sense? Watch the movie again (if you've seen it and look how he carries his backpack, it's worth it). I really can’t get over the Main Guy’s friends in this. They suck and the people playing them can’t act for sh1t. Think I’ll pour me a nice tall pint of Harp. Dee-lish.

The love story isn’t that bad. I’m feeling it. Seemed a little rushed at first, but they’re teenagers (Hell, I once drove from Florida to Pennsylvania for a girl I met on a cruise). I can buy this. This movie isn’t all that bad…wait…I forgot something. It’s Nicholas Sparks. Ok, whose gonna die? Well, its been on a while. No one seems to die yet. It might be safe to get slightly involved in the relationship between the characters…Nope….leukemia. Damn you, Nicholas Sparks! What are you trying to do to me? Mandy Moore doesn’t want a reason to blame God…Ok, Mandy, you don’t need one….just blame Nicholas Sparks…because he created you and then he gave you leukemia….that sucks. It is kinda sweet though that you and the Main Dude are getting married and fulfilling your #1 goal on your list. You go girl! Good job Buddy!

You know what? I agree with Mark S. Allen (UPN). Mandy Moore you are awesome.

Even though (SPOILER) she dies in the end I have to give it to Nicholas Sparks. This movie does have a pretty good message overall. I also like the fact that they didn’t make the church girl stuff seem slightly realistic and not too hokey. I also like that they didn’t cheapen the whole movie with sex.

Overall, a pretty good story. I will say that the leukemia and hospital sutff made me want to pour out my beer. Technically the movie needs a little work. But, not a bad story. The only problem is that it’s called “A Walk To Remember” and I don’t actually remember a walk or even that much walking…so, it loses a couple of “cool points”....when was the walk? When he brings two blankets and they look at the stars? If there was a walk it wasn’t that memorable.

Chick Flick: 3 cartons of ice cream (out of 5)
DVD: 2 pieces of milky chocolate (out of 5)*
Beer: 4 manly high fives (out of 5)

*For the "awesome" comment by Mark S. Allen (UPN)

4 comments:

  1. I could be missing your sarcasm here, but the "walk to remember" was the walk down the aisle during her wedding! Duh! I mean, she was so weak that she could barely walk, yet she got up out of that wheelchair and walked down the aisle to marry Landon! How is that not memorable?!?

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  2. I told you before, you have to watch out for Nicholas Sparks. Sappiest crap out there!
    Your review of this movie is hilarous. Much more entertaining than the movie. :)

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  3. The previous anonymous commentor here must be a female. Because only a female could have made the connection between the title and the walk down the aisle. Us guys just don't look at that particular walk in the same way females do. So like beauty, something that is memorable I guess, is in the eye of the beholder.

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